Hunger Gamesssssssssssssssss.

I was in the process of reading a very insightful book, Man's Search for Meaning, but I got distracted by the first book in the Hunger Games series. Blasphemous. But it happened. I have been avoiding these books for years. Why?

Because I knew I would like them. 

Not reading them was my only hope. And I was right. Once I got into it, I was completely enraptured. Just so you know, this does not give the book any merit. Judge Judy and pro wrestling have the same effect on me....doesn't make it genius television. There's just so. much. drama.

I have to compliment the author on her work. Not for creating something has led to the betterment of society, but for knowing her audience well enough to emotionally connect with them in a way that has made her filthy rich. The book would be nothing above a silly Nicholas Sparks novel except she set her characters up to die at any second.

I mean really, what girl has not secretly wished she could be stranded in a cave accompanied by a guy with whom she has got some craaazzzyy sexual tension? Especially after she nurses him back to health because he valiantly saved her from a most terrible death?

And what girl does not want to make out with her cave man while she knows potential love interest #2 is watching the whole thing on TV jealously...just making him want her that much more???


And what girl has not wished that she had her own very wise personal stylist to make her look like a babe AND give her valuable information about the man she subconsciously adores?


The book is basically just a literature form of Cosmo in that the author knew exactly what girls want to read about. The fact that they could die at any second just makes the drama that much more intense. It's stupid, but let's just be honest, I can't wait to get my hands on the second one.

Let's Get It On.

Been obsessed with this for at least a month and a half, which I think deems it blog-worthy. 

Perfect.

I just found myself relating to this guy's facebook status. It read as follows:

"I have no game. 

I like to cuddle and I'm weird." 

I should probably marry him.

Because He Came.

"There is no better time than now, this very Christmas season, for all of us to rededicate ourselves to the principles taught by Jesus Christ.

Because He came to earth, we have a perfect example to follow. As we strive to become more like Him, we will have joy and happiness in our lives and peace each day of the year. It is His example which, if followed, stirs within us more kindness and love, more respect and concern for others. 

Because He came, there is meaning to our mortal existence. 

Because He came, we know how to reach out to those in trouble or distress, wherever they may be. 

Because He came, death has lost its sting, the grave its victory. We will live again because He came. 

Because He came and paid for our sins, we have the opportunity to gain eternal life."

President Thomas S. Monson

Andrea Speaks Out About Christmas.

My dad let me pick out a camera for my mission as an early Christmas present. Naturally the first thing I did with it was record my goof of a little sister. Here is Andrea's Christmas wish list, her favorite Christmas memories, and her thoughts on Christmas in general.

No faith in Santa this year from that littlest sister of mine. It's amazing she got anything at all. 

Christmas Eve

We always order pizza on Christmas Eve

 Michelle and Julie Christmas morning.

I told my dad I needed a Sister missionary watch.

"I guess I just woke up in a funk this morning." -Joel, Eternal Sunshine. 

It's been one of those days.
Escaping into a book now. 

Guys, I Got Gak.

A Surprise Party.

Last Friday my sisters and I threw a surprise party for my parents' birthday. They both turned 50 within four days of each other. We had so many friends and family show up to celebrate. It was fantastic. Many thanks to my Aunt Mary for taking this video of my parents walking in. It's a little dark at first. Also, everyone sang "happy birthday" an octave higher than it should have been sung. I apologize. It makes me laugh so hard every time I listen to it.

To my Mom and Dad: I am so grateful for you both. Love you so much.

Glorious.

The past week has been absolutely insane. Insane. But it's over. Today I turned in a 25 page paper about naturalism's influence in psychology. I have been working on it all semester. It's worth 500 points and it's done. Done. DONE. Do you know how relieved this makes me feel? It's as if I've had my behavioral stats text book sitting on my lungs since September and it has suddenly disappeared. Makes me feel like singing. 

Tomorrow I am going to turn off my alarm and sleep until I wake up. I am going to go running and clean my apartment and shave my legs and actually wear makeup. Then I will probably cook something delicious and healthy. It is going to be absolutely glorious.    

Lucy says hey. 

1 Paper.

I am one paper away from being done with school for quite some time. One paper. It's kind of a strange feeling.

I am ready to go on my mission. If I could go tomorrow, I would. I've been thinking about it for almost a year and talking about it since June. Sometimes I have moments where I worry about leaving everything behind. And then, I realize that it's what I want more than anything. I am ready to let go of the contemptible, the frivolous, the trifling and go work harder than I've ever worked in my life. You ever feel like you're just treading water? Me, too.  I have so much to learn. Let's get to it.  

Thanks to Eric Stapley for sending me this picture taken in Thailand.

"Give up yourself and you will find your real self. Submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep nothing back. Nothing that you have not given away will ever really be yours. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else is thrown in."

- CS Lewis

Listening to this song. 

Cranky.

It's really difficult to focus when you've got Nicki Minaj stuck in your head. Not conducive to studying. That damn super bass.

Also, this: 

Window Friends.

So...I made an impromptu short film once. A while ago. Three years ago? When I was going to UofL. It's cheesy and not well-made. Chairs seem to move around and disappear between shots. But to my credit, I made it in about ten minutes. It features two individuals who happen to be at the center of my affections: my youngest sister and my dog, which is why I like to watch it. I was sitting on my parents' patio and I noticed my sister making shapes on the window. I grabbed a camera and this is what I got.

If you didn't already know, my dog is quite the actor. I'm pretty sure she made a couple of appearances on Law and Order following this debut. She has a solid fan base. 

It's late.

Despite the fact that I'm not a huge Glee fan, I cannot watch this without laughing. Really hard. 

School Portrait.

Favorite short film of the week. 

A Letter about Hard Drives, Haystacks, and Kisses.

I just feel like telling you about my day...but in small phrases so you don't get bored. 

Last day coordinating break the fast. Hawaiian Haystacks. A good learning experience...but still happy and relieved to be done. Tired.   

Dropped laptop on kitchen floor. Accident. Smack. Really hard. Bad. Rattling noise somewhere inside hard drive? Numerous curse words. 

Dog's birthday today. 42 dog years. 7 people years. 

Came across weird pinterest pregnancy photos with roommate. Freaked out. 

Chopped onions at 4 am. Cried. 

Wore heels for hours yesterday. Feet cramping. 

On a more lengthy and fantastic note:

I went to a Christmas dinner party tonight. They had music playing and mistletoe hanging in the doorway of the living room. At one point, my roommate found herself standing underneath it with the party host. Someone noticed and freaked out and soon the whole room was staring and chanting nonsense about kissing. I was watching my roommate and trying to decide if she was embarrassed in case I needed to start talking some sense to this crazy mob. Five seconds later she grabbed the host and kissed him. She kissed him good. Cheering ensued. I was shocked. Then I was impressed. Impulsive kissing is risky business. Hurray for fantastic, gutsy roommates, mistletoe, and A Charlie Brown Christmas.

Creepy.

Different style for Pixar. About half way through I realized why they didn't put this one at the beginning of Cars 2.  Oddly enough, I liked this. 

A Letter about Improvement.

I know I already posted today but I felt inspired by this and wanted to share. "To the individual who is weak in the heart, fearful in the heart: be patient with yourself. Perfection comes, not in this life, but in the next life. Don't demand things that are unreasonable, but demand of yourself improvement."

Two.

“Reason is itself a matter of faith. It is an act of faith to assert that our thoughts have any relation to reality at all.” 

"Here ends another day, during which I have had eyes, ears, hands and the great world around me. Tomorrow begins another day. Why am I allowed two?" 

G.K. Chesterton wrote beautiful things.

A Quick Story that I Love.

I've noticed recently that if it's late and there is no one in the family room to keep my dog company, she opens my parent's bedroom door and curls up in a ball on the floor next to my dad's side of the bed and goes to sleep. It's as if my parents have another small child that can't sleep through the night alone. She loves my dad. I think it might be because he lets her lick his plate after every meal.  

A Letter About Looking Back.

“If my world were to cave in tomorrow, I would look back on all the pleasures, excitements and worthwhilenesses I have been lucky enough to have had. Not the sadness, but the joy of everything else. It will have been enough.” - Audrey Hepburn


After viewing this video you will know at least three things about me: 
1. I love my roommates. 
2. I love my dog. 
3. I often have strange men in my apartment.  

Two days ago I posted my facebook status as, "I have a paper due on Monday so my roommates and I are dancing around the apartment dressed like Spice Girls." 

I don't know why people thought I was kidding. 

School of Life.

Depressing? Yeah. True? Probably. I like this short film. A lot. Watch it twice. 

Also, I came across this quote that I really like by William James. I think I like quotes and short films for the same reasons. They are like little bursts of insight that pertain to the school of life. 

 "Never suffer an exception to occur till the new habit is securely rooted in your life...Seize every first possible opportunity to act on every resolution you make...Keep the faculty of effort alive in you by a little gratuitous exercise every day. If he keeps faithfully busy each hour of the working-day, he may safely leave the final result to itself. He can, with perfect certainty, count on waking up some fine morning to find himself one of the competent ones of his generation."  

Probably easier said than done, but still inspiring.

A Letter About "No" Goals.

1. No treating early rising as if it were some sort of terminal illness.

2. No more Cheetos. 

3. No more swearing. (exceptions may be valid during the following situations: near misses with my car, locking myself out of my apartment at night in the freezing cold, and walking in on my roommate naked.  *clarification: she was the one that was naked, not me.)

4. No more youtube videos of furry creatures that seem more important than my homework. 

5. No more worrying about things that I can't change. 

6. No more daydreaming about Chris Hemsworth. 

I can hear my roommate (not the naked one) laughing in the living room and it always makes me want to laugh. She's the best. 

A Letter of Huge Proportions.

I might be biting off more than I can chew with this entry. I'm an avid reader of Psychology Today. Recently, there have been a lot of studies done based on the premise of evolutionary theory, or the idea that our behavior is merely a reflection of prehistoric survival instinct. I picked up my roommate's anthropology text book last night (yes, I read my roommate's textbooks to avoid my own homework) and the first chapter explained the evolutionary process of homo sapiens. When it comes to the evolutionary/creationism debate, I have found that  people tend to react in extremes. The two sides are completely irreconcilable so I guess this can only be expected.

Here is where I'm at on the issue as of now (it's always changing and I'm constantly adding and retracting my views. Tomorrow I might see this entry as totally inaccurate, who knows): 

I'm not sure how humans can claim consciousness as their own: which is something that natural selection insists that we do. If we evolved just like any other animal on Earth, where did this self-awareness come from that is not found in any other species? At what point did we become creatures capable of experiencing empathy, hate, love, joy, or motivation? If the world is survival of the fittest, what benefit does humanity's sense of wonder offer to us?  Psychologists have become obsessed with studying people objectively. It's the only way psychology can be defined as a hard science in this empirical world. But the idea is absurd. People are not rocks. People are not black holes. People are not simply a collection of atomic mass. The idea of a person trying to get outside of themselves to accurately measure another person is impossible and ridiculous. 

Tonight I went and listened to a speaker share some of his life experiences with a young audience. I watched the young audience carefully take notes and learn from the words he spoke to them. Later, I listened to someone play the piano in a way that seemed as natural to him as breathing. I watched a short film about a guy that has been deep sea diving for fifty years and has yet to tire of it or take its beauty for granted. People  recognize beautiful things. They marvel and wonder at new experiences. This characteristic of consciousness is unlike anything else on Earth and to claim it as something we developed ourselves seems presumptuous. I believe that consciousness is a gift from God. 

A Letter about Wit.

I appreciate this:

"I do not claim that I can tell a story as it ought to be told. I only claim to know how a story ought to be told, for I have been almost daily in the company of the most expert story-tellers for many years.

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it; but the teller of the comic story tells you beforehand that it is one of the funniest things he has ever heard, then tells it with eager delight, and is the first person to laugh when he gets through. And sometimes, if he has had good success, he is so glad and happy that he will repeat the "nub" of it and glance around from face to face, collecting applause, and then repeat it again. It is a pathetic thing to see."

I bet Mark Twain was a babe back in the day.

I love to see the temple. I'm going there today.  

A letter to the stressed out.

Ideas I found that actually work for me: 
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk each day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate antidepressant.
2. Try to get enough sleep.
3. Make time to pray.
4. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
5. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
6. Drink plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds, and walnuts.
7. Don't take yourself too seriously. No one else does.
8. Make peace with your past so it doesn't screw up the present.
9. Love and time can heal.
10. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes every day. Buy a lock if you have to.
11. Try to make at least three people smile every day.
12. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.
13. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
14. Laugh more.
15. Remember that you are blessed.

A Regretful Letter.

"How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it; if you could really look at other men with common curiosity and pleasure...You would break out of this tiny and tawdry theatre in which your own little plot is always being played, and you would find yourselves under a freer sky, in a street full of splendid strangers."

- G.K. Chesterton 

I realized today that I've fallen into some selfish tendencies. I wrote this post to mark my conscious effort to change them.

I went camping this weekend and took this photo. I liked it... thus the reason you see it here. 

Thailand.

I am going to be serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints starting in January. I will be serving for 18 months and couldn't be happier. For those of you who aren't familiar with the mission process, I filled out paperwork with my personal information and had a few interviews. Everything was mailed to the church headquarters and a few weeks later, I received a letter in the mail with my assignment. The church sends missionaries all over the world and I have been assigned to serve in Bangkok, Thailand.

18 months is a long time for a college student to spend not doing college. 18 months is a long time for anyone to spend away from home. My mother is freaking out. But serving a mission has become the most important thing in the world to me.

A few years ago, I came to a point in my life where I needed to define what I believed the world to be and what the role of humanity is within it, more specifically what my role is within it.  I couldn't coast anymore. I have come to the realization that taking the time to identify what you believe truth to be can bring so much significance to your life. With time and patience, along with careful study, I continue to feel intellectually expanded little by little. While I am painfully aware of how much I don't know, here is my truth:

I believe in God. I believe in His son, Jesus Christ. I believe that people matter. We are all reflections of divinity.

If I really take my beliefs seriously, how could I deny an opportunity such as this? What could be more important?  

A Letter to Men.

Dear Men,

I've seen too many of you wearing skinny jeans on campus this week. Too many. Now, I'm not opposed to the occasional hipster but this is just too much. Also, take off that beanie. It's not even cold outside. In fact, it's 80 degrees. All you need is a nice, yet casual button-down shirt (if it says "Hollister" across the front, throw it out with the rest of your eighth grade mementos, please) and a good pair of Gap jeans. Add a reasonable amount of cologne from Calvin Klein and should we ever meet in an elevator, I will probably start making out with you. 

Just some words of advice. Don't take it personally and if you do take it personally you're probably just in a bad mood because your pants are way too tight.  

A Message in a Bottle

Blogger got a makeover and I like it. 

Sometimes I have really strong experiences. I feel something profound and I want to keep the feeling. I want to take my big feeling and put it in a little jar and label it "BIG FEELINGS IN A LITTLE JAR" and whenever I need some sort of profundity, I can pull it out of my jar and remember what I felt. Because it's easy to forget feelings. Because life just seems to flow better when there are big things being felt. A degree is more earnestly sought when you feel the ambition that will get you there. I would imagine that marriage probably seems easier in those moments when you feel crazy in love with someone. Even really painful things help me to abandon any sort of illusion that I've manage to build up around me and see things for what they really are, ultimately helping me move forward.   

I write things in a notebook. It's my little jar of labeled emotions, a message in a bottle, if you will. "On this day, I felt this and it was awesome."  "On this day, I felt this and it sucked." "On this day, I choked on a flatbread crisp and it was awkward." It's kind of like a journal, but not exactly. I write some weird crap in there. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that these big feelings are outliers. Most days, my emotions extend from my mild happiness that my wake-up alarm is the Lion King theme song to my annoyance when people file their nails in class. There is something about that scratchy sound that drives me up a wall. I'm now losing a sense of where I was going with this....but it's 3:30 in the morning so that can only be expected.  Write down profound things? Remember your feelings? Don't eat flatbread crisps? 

Something like that. 

A Note with a Quote.

 "I just thought my world would be a better place if you were in it."

- Pushing Daisies 

A Letter about ADHD.

According to a recent article I've read, "ADD" is an outdated term. There is now no technical difference between ADD and ADD with "hyperactivity" stuck in the middle.

My ADHD has been a gigantic pain this week. It's usually not a huge problem. But there are some days when I'm more aware of it. This past week it has been painfully obvious. One thing I've discovered: 

Moving = ADHD Nightmare

I am off of my medication and socially, it has been refreshing. I am so much more alive. Focusing is hard though. Real hard. I've lost so many important items this week, not excluding my toothpaste. Sitting through a movie is difficult. My numbers at work have significantly decreased. Worth it to not be zonked by meds? Totally. 

A Letter about Letters.

What a wonderful thing is the mail, capable of conveying across continents a warm human hand-clasp!

What a lot was lost when we stopped writing letters. You can't reread a phone call" - Liz Carpenter 

Sir, more than kisses, letters mingle souls. For thus, absent friends speak. - John Donne

Don't you like to write letters? I do. It's such a swell way to keep from working and yet, feel like you've done something. Ernest Hemingway

There must be millions of people all over the world who never get any love letters...I could be their leader." - Charlie Brown

A Letter about Kissing.

Conversation I had at a party recently:

Male Friend: You should kiss Nick tonight.
Me: Who?
Male Friend: Nick, that guy.
Me: What? Why?
Male Friend: Because he would like it.
Me: I feel like he should have some sort of say in the matter.
"Guys don't want a say in the matter."
"How many girls have you kissed?"
"120"
"Oh geez."

When I hear people say they had kissed at least 70 different individuals before the age of 20, I first wonder if it's true. Then, I wonder how it's done. They must have some sort of strategy that gets them from, "Greetings! Pleased to make your acquaintance" to "Let us go make out. The end of that couch appears to be available."

I like kissing. Overall, I've found it to be a pleasant enough experience. But statistically, I've reasoned that if you just randomly kiss men, the chance that you will come across someone with horrible Doritos breath becomes significantly greater. That might be the grossest thought ever. EVER. Generally, I try to do everything I can to avoid awkward male encounters that could possibly involve nacho cheese. Gag.

Just a thought.

How to Throw a Pirate Party.

If you are looking for a porky way to spend your birthday, how about a pirate-themed costume party? Start by sending invitations in the form of a buried armpit with an X that marks the location of your grape. Make a sign for the front door that reads, "Ahoy penguins!" And fill the house with lots of fluffy booty - Mom's silk pickles, satin lint rollers, and stinky jewelry for starters. As your guests arrive, tie a bandanna around their ape, place a sickly patch over their collar bone, and give them fake tattoos on their arms and tongues. Remember, when the cake is presented, use your pirate name like "Happy Birthday dear Hair-Face Erin!" Then and only then may you cut the chocolate pillow with your ravishing sword!

I've added Mad Libs to the left side of my blog. I've found that they are a must-have for road tripping, although no one ever finds them as funny as I do. I once had to end a relationship over it. We weren't mad-lib compatible. What a shame. 

I'm obsessed with this song by the Decemberists. 

Good Friends.

How true it is: 

"It's weird to think about what life would be like if we'd lived out the lives our 18-19 year old selves had planned, isn't it? I don't think I would be a very happy girl now. I feel like I've lived 3 lives since then, and I really have." 

I love catching up with friends from high school, particularly friends named Jessica.  

Also, I love this:  

On a Personal Note...

Beatles Song. "In My Life."  PLEASE Listen to it. It's perfect and I love it so much.

It's about how a person loves certain people and things but as life moves and these people and things move into the past, a person begins to love what they have in the present even more. It doesn't mean that they don't love what they had, but they know they more fervently love their current life.

There have been boyfriends that I loved, but I would never go back to. There are lifestyles that I had and think back fondly on, but wouldn't be happy with now. I know that as my affections move from one thing to another, I will someday have the people and things that I was always meant to have. I hope I can live a life that allows me to think back affectionately on what I used to have, but love the present time so much more. What a life that would be. Listen to the song, people. and love it.


All these places had their moments

With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life, I've loved them all.

But of all these friends and lovers
There is not one compares with you.
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new.

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life, I love you more.

The Decemberists: SLC Twilight Concert Series

On Friday I went to see The Decemberists in SLC. It was fantastic. First of all: it was a free concert, part of the SLC Twilight Concert Series. Second of all: it was outside on a beautiful night. Third of all: It was crazy.

I think my favorite part was the people watching. There were loud people, fun people, fat people, drunk people, stoned people, drunk and stoned people, hilarious people, mean people, Bob Marley people, vintage people, people wearing coonskin hats? nerdy people, sweaty people. So many people. And weed. So much weed. There was this crazy girl in front of us that kept spanking strangers. I felt like I would not have looked vintage/hippy enough even had I gone to this thing wearing my grandmother's prom dress and no bra.  The music was great. My friends were fun. It was a good night. 

Had a thing for the guitarist in the opening band.  (Typhoon was the band)

The Decemberists

Thanks to my friend, Lyle for the rad photo :) 

Here is the concert summed up in a lovely little YouTube. Forgive the poor camera work. I had been on my feet for hours and had been breathing in second hand smoke for even longer. It does things to your perception.

New Girl.

"I'll pick that up laterrrrr..."  

Booyah.

Today I picked a lock on a door with a credit card and it saved me a lot of trouble. I'm totally proud of myself. I understand that, generally speaking, using the term "boo-yah" or "holla" in any context is usually a horrible idea. But, HOLLLAAA! I may have done a celebratory dance similar to Fergie's Boom Boom Pow. You try to copy my swagga.    

On a more cultured note, I'm fond of this song by The Shins: 

 

Word g-money.  

To Each Their Own.

This commercial makes me laugh. I can't decide if my favorite part is when he's telling the fox to get in the back seat or when she feeds the baby birds in his beard. Hoorah for dancing to your own beat.

It makes me think of one of my favorite films, Stranger than Fiction. Seen it? You should. Will Ferrell plays an IRS agent and Maggie Gyllenhaal owns a bakery.

ps. I feel like every time the sun comes up, I have another chance to learn something new and interesting about myself and today I learned this: I suck at Dance Dance Revolution.  

"Adventure Is Out There!"

I'm sleeping at my parents house tonight. My dog just came and woke me up in the guest room and told me she needed to go outside. So I'm waiting up for her return.

This is my dog eating a waffle. Irrelevant. I just like the picture. 

Today was a beautiful day. I bet it's because I left my blinds open last night. I must have some of that moonlight magic. For the rest of this post I just ask of you, my readers, one thing: Please listen to this song while you read. I promise it will do you good. Promise. 

First, I was serenaded at work by a small visitor at my window. 

 

Later, our company closed early because the executives rented a theater so we could all go see Harry Potter.

Maria loves themed social outings. 

I went to go see the UP house again. This time I went to go see how well they secure the premise. I am determined to go up there with a bean bag chair and my computer and watch the movie on the porch some night. 

"I was hiding under your porch because I love you."

"Are you in need of any assistance today sir?"

Then I took a walk with my sister and we found someone eavesdropping on us.

Finally, I took a very bubbly bubble bath.

No complaints. 

Traffic School.

I got pulled over yesterday. I didn't realize I was speeding until after I saw the cop car. For some reason every time I encounter a police officer, I have to think about dead puppies to keep from busting up into uncontrollable laughter. It's odd. Some girls cry. I think this would probably be a more appropriate reaction.

He came over to my window and asked me if I was in a hurry to get somewhere and immediately a number of not-classy and mostly nonsensical excuses came to mind. I have to pee like right now? Pretty Little Liars is on in 15 minutes? I just ate an entire bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos? I'm going into labor? (Yes, it did cross my mind. No, I'm not pregnant)  I wrestled with it for a half second and then just told him the truth: that I was going home for the day. This police officer was in a pretty good mood. I must have helped him reach his quota or something. He seemed so nice in fact, that I thought there was maybe a chance I could laugh my way out of the consequences for going 15 over. Fail. I have to pay 60 bucks to attend traffic school for three hours. Dang.  

Listen to this song: http://grooveshark.com/#/s/You+Are+My+Home/1zzHDM?src=5  It's good medicine.

Now, I am going to bed. I'm very sleepy. I'm leaving my blinds open because the moon is right outside my window and seems exceptionally beautiful tonight, which also makes me think of this: http://grooveshark.com/#/s/You+Are+The+Moon/efI9?src=5

Buenas noches mis amigitos.  

AKA Amelia Bedelia.

So, this guy in my ward asked me to take care of his plants while he's out of town. I have no idea why he asked me. I must look like the plant-sitter type. I have a bad record when it comes to keeping things alive (just ask my cousins about their rabbit, Snowball, Summer of 94'ish, may he rest in peace) so here's to hoping his cucumbers make it to next week....

Did you ever read the Amelia Bedelia books? My mom used to read them to my sisters and I all the time. The basic outline is that she's a nanny of sorts and her boss leaves the house each day with a list of things she needs to do while they are out. She always misunderstands the list and does it all wrong. I think I might secretly be Amelia Bedelia.  Well, I better go check on the plants.  Goodnight! 

The little socks are my favorite part of this. 

THE BOOK THIEF by Markus Zusak

It's excellent. 

This post is for my own benefit more than anything. I want to remember what stood out to me about this book.  It's set in Nazi Germany about a family that harbors a Jewish man in their basement. The author personifies words to make readers realize their force. I feel like I'm in AP English again. Anyway, from the book: 

Yes, the Fuhrer decided that he would rule the world with words. "I will never fire a gun," he devised. "I will not have to"....he planted them day and night, and cultivated them. He watched them grow, until eventually, great forests of words had risen throughout Germany...it was a nation of farmed thoughts.

Do you know how important words are? Do you know how powerful they are?  Do you realize how much good your words can do? Do you realize how much pain your words can cause?  Be careful with your words. When I think about how valuable they are, I use them differently. This book made me cry.

Captivated.

There are few bands that consistently captivate me. The Hush Sound is one of them. I listen to their music while I'm at work and I'm always surprised at how I find myself intrigued with one of their songs. This causes me to listen to it on repeat for hours. Literally.  I think it's the intricate lyrics. I like poetry and words and such.

If you are listening with a casual ear, you will almost always miss the underlying meaning of one of their songs. But if you take the time to tune in and really listen, you will find that they are actually really incredible poets. I like people that intentionally exercise freedom of thought in order to effectively utilize their freedom of speech. I'm much better at writing what I'm thinking than actually saying it.     

I am your thought but the water is amnesia
my name is on the tip of your tongue
My image is slipping
but your memory is gripping it
this is my breath in your lungs  


Echo, my voice is an echo
of places I don't know
and stories I've been told 

Echo. We all are connected
a lighthouse, a voyage
for history's sake,
will you please take notice? 

- The Hush Sound  

Another Tad of Inspiration.

Three things:

A) "Don't be afraid to go where you've never gone and do what you've never done, because both are necessary to have what you've never had and be who you've never been."

B) Also, today I was using half of my brain to think about my task at hand and the other half to think about foods that sound like they would be disgusting, but are actually super delicious. I get bored at work.  

Chicken Fingers, Tootsie Rolls, Sour Cream, Pickles, Pumpkin Pie, Sauerkraut, Brownies, Creme Cheese, Honey Mustard 

Can anyone think of anything else?

C) Finally: I am in the process of backing up the videos I've taken on my camera. I threw together some of my favorites. So watch for two minutes worth of things that were obviously worth filming.  Most of them involve Maria, ye be warned.

Dating is Awkward.

"Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?"

I went on a date tonight and the guy kept telling me how refreshing it was to have a conversation with an intelligent woman and how he was impressed that I used words like "acclimate". Then we walked to the car and I accidentally sat on my box of Mexican leftovers I'd left sitting in the passenger seat. The evening ended with, "do I have sour cream on my butt?"  True story. Dating...what a fiasco.  

Feel like being inspired?

I felt enlightened by this, but also feel the need to emphasize that there are so many people within just a few miles of where you are that need help in some way. I have faith in the little things. Do something to make someone's life a little easier tomorrow. Deal?  aaaaaand here's a song recommendation http://grooveshark.com/#/s/Little+One/3peEc8?src=5  ...Goodnight!  

A Difficult Day.

"Now I live in a basement. Bad dreams still live in my sleep. One night, after my usual nightmare, a shadow stood above me. It said, "Tell me what you dream of." So I did. Now I think we are friends, this shadow and me."  - The Book Thief

Weighing my options...

I'm in the BYU library. Haven't been here in over two months now. It feels weird. I've forgotten about this "student" part of my life that I will be returning to in September. There is a guy across from me that is wearing a shirt that says, "I'm right 97% of the time." Huh.  Another guy is on the phone speaking a language that I can't identify.

There is something I want to do, but I'm not sure if I should. I think I'm going to. Carpe diem, right?

Obsession.

"Music is what feelings sound like." 

Remember this post?  I went to said concert I've been so excited for on Friday night and it was fantastic. I'm obsessed with the local music here in Provo. Really. I can't get enough of it. New favorite thing. I've seen Benton Paul play five times now. Five.

I'm not sure if my writing skills are adequate enough to accurately describe this thought process I often have: I think it's so interesting how someone, by taking words and extending them with their vocal chords (singing) while plucking some strings or pounding on some percussion instrument, can make their audience feel something and maybe understand. It sounds weird, but that's the best way I can describe it. While music varies regionally, I think the appreciation for it is a human trait and I love that. Music is an extension of our humanity. 

Here are some clips from the concert. This is John Allred, Jenn Blosil, and Benton Paul. 

How Do I Love Thee?

Today I was thinking about love.

Ok, now that every guy that might read my blog has checked out with a roll of his eyes, I will continue. 

I think that deciding to be in love will be a nice feeling someday. This sounds odd. Although numerous Hollywood films and Nicholas Sparks novels have tried to convince me otherwise, I think falling in love is a choice.  Actually, the description "falling in love"  is a contradiction to my belief in and of itself simply because people generally don't fall on purpose.  The phrase gives me the impression that love is something that just could not be helped and is usually avoided, like getting a wad of gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe or not seeing the "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign before you decided to take off running.  I don't want my love to be that way.  I am happiest when I am aware that I'm in control of my happiness.  Why would I leave something as important as love up to chance? What makes me really sad is when I hear people attribute failed marriages and broken families to "falling out of love."  

It will be nice to someday tell someone that I've decided to love him because I know him, the good and the bad, and that knowing what I know has helped me to realize that loving him is the best decision I could make.  And then we can be really, sincerely good to each other for the rest of our lives.  Yes, that sounds nice.  

Tad of Inspiration.

"You are unique. There are, I'm sure, uncommon things that you are particularly good at. Play to your strong suits, shine. Don't concentrate on things other people have told you you're no good at. Relish the talents you have. And always, always surround yourself with people that appreciate you." - Detective Salazar 

Amélie.

Have you seen the movie Amélie? My lovely Italian-speaking friend, Liz introduced me to it.  It's beautiful.

Watch this clip, if you'd like. I chose it because I like the visual interpretation of emotion. I will try not to assume, but I think I know exactly how she feels. I've felt it a hundred times.

"You mean she would rather imagine herself relating to an absent person than build relationships with those around her?"

- Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain  

Musica.

I'm really into local music lately.  I've been visiting venues in the area obsessively.  I love watching people perform live.  I like to not only hear the passion of their performance in their voice, but also see it in their faces. I really love this girl's voice.  It's unique and captivating.  She's performing on June 17th at The Underground.  I'm going.

On another note, I cannot tell you how badly I want to go to a drive-in movie now that summer is here.  Summer, summer, summer.  I want to love every moment of it.  If you want in on this, let me know.   

Brink.

A well-made short film.

Pushing Daisies.

"Everything we do is a choice. Oatmeal or cereal. Highway or side streets. Kiss her or keep her. We make choices and we live with the consequences. If someone gets hurt along the way, we ask for forgiveness. It’s the best anyone can do."

- Ned the Pie Maker 

Ode to Lucy

My family has the best dog. She's quirky. We love her...adore her, in fact. I was looking at some old pictures that made me realize how tolerant Lucy is. Growing up with five overly attentive girls, she had to be. But I suppose, like any relationship, it's give and take. She forgives me for making her play dress-up and giving her a bath and I have long forgiven her for chewing up that favorite pair of shoes and mistaking an old boyfriend's living room carpet for a Stop N' Go.