AWKWARD.

It seems as though all day I've been running into people that I sort of know and feel obligated to talk to for a certain period of time before continuing towards my destination. I am the worst casual conversationalist ever. I've noticed there are certain people that are really skilled at gracefully entering and exiting a conversation. I envy those people. Every conversation ends up being exactly the same for me.

1. I'm good, how are you? 2. I'm almost a senior but it's going to take forever to graduate, what about you? 3. Chemical engineering? Wow, I failed basic algebra last semester. 4. Oh yeah, sorry I forgot to respond to that text you sent me two months ago. 5. and here is my lame excuse to get away from this conversation before I have to talk about my love life. 6. (walk away cringing)

Maybe I should start practicing in the mirror.

Someone asked me what my blog title means...

Perteneciste a una raza antigua - de pies descalzos y de sueños blancos.
"You belonged to an ancient race - one of bare feet and white dreams."

La música es siempre mejor en español.

Good Medicine

In the fourth grade, I wrote a story about a family of turkeys that disguised themselves as cows on Thanksgiving so they wouldn't get eaten. My teacher, Ms. Wyatt, told me that I was a very good writer and I believed her. In hindsight, I realize that she probably told this to everyone, even the kids who wrote really stupid, non-turkey related stories.

Where was I going with this???

Oh yes, I love to write. It's probably the one thing in which I tend to pride myself. (Look at me, not ending that sentence with a preposition!) I don't play sports anymore, I can't read music, I rarely cook. My last art project was a seventh-grade self-portrait and my teacher thought it was a former US president.

But I do have journal after journal full of my writing from over the years. It's the one thing that I have been the most consistent with in my life and has proven to be good medicine.

Most of my readers are probably bloggers so here is where I express my admiration. But not everything can go on a blog...this is the internet after all. I've learned a lot about myself because of the personal, brutally honest things that I've written down and it has turned into a rough, sometimes insightful, sometimes weird, sometimes ugly, sometimes beautiful summary of who I am. I would recommend it.

“Writing is a form of personal freedom. It frees us from the mass identity we see in the making all around us. In the end, writers will write not to be outlaw heroes of some underculture but mainly to save themselves, to survive as individuals.”
- American novelist Don Delillo

ps. The turkeys escaped to Canada and lived happily ever after.

Five-Page Paper in 45 minutes

Turned in a paper today that I had written at the last minute merely to fulfill the assignment. For some reason, I had to take a survey about the paper in class. One of the questions said:

a. I feel good about my draft.
b. I feel uncertain about my draft
c. I wrote this draft at the last minute merely to fulfill the assignment.

I decided to just be honest.

Saw this book in a bookstore today:

I read the back to see if it was a joke. It wasn't. I don't know a lot about having a husband, but seeing this made me sad. I already strongly dislike the majority of self-help books, but this one might take the cake. Who knows though, they tell me I shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Maybe it is possible to have overestimated the complexity of a human being and change him in merely in five days just so you can be immediately gratified.

La caja de ascensor

The SWKT is the tallest building on campus. It has 12 stories. My TA office is on the 11th. I spend a lot of time in the elevator.

My behavior when it comes to elevators:

1.Avoid having to ride with another person.

2.If it can't be avoided, enter elevator, immediately press my back to a wall and stare at the floor.

3.Get annoyed at people that stand unnecessarily close to me.

4.Get annoyed when people get on the elevator just to go up one floor.

5.Start to worry when the elevator slows down. Probably due to a bad experience when I was little.

6.Carefully people watch, but generally avoid social interaction.

7.Be glad I'm not in an elevator with Buddy the Elf.

8.Be somewhat wary of people who look suspicious: description of people that fall under this category varies. Guys with ugly 1970's mustaches are not excluded.

9.Did you know that "elevator" in Spanish is la caja de ascensor? This literally translates to "the lifting box." This amuses me.

10.Breathe a sigh of relief when I'm done with the elevator for the day.

Took the Myers & Briggs personality test the other day. It told me I'm an introvert. I already knew that.

Welcome to My Life

Went to Barnes and Noble yesterday to buy a book that my doctor had recommended. Upon entering the store, an employee came up to me. The conversation went something like this:

Employee: Is there something I can help you find?
Me: Yes, I'm looking for uh...a book.
Employee: What's it called?
Me: uh...I don't remember.
Employee: Hmm...it might be hard to find without the title.
Me:Hang on, I wrote it on this paper. (Look in my purse) Oh, I think I left the paper in the car. That's weird I thought I put it in here.
Employee: Who wrote it?
Me: I can't remember. Shoot. I wish I knew what happened to that paper.
Employee: Do you know what the book is about?

At this point in the conversation, I suddenly remembered what the book was called and simultaneously realized that I was going to have to ask someone else for help because I was too embarrassed to tell her that I was looking for ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life. Yep, I'm a keeper.