Tuesday, August 16, 2011

A Letter about Kissing.

Conversation I had at a party recently:

Male Friend: You should kiss Nick tonight.
Me: Who?
Male Friend: Nick, that guy.
Me: What? Why?
Male Friend: Because he would like it.
Me: I feel like he should have some sort of say in the matter.
"Guys don't want a say in the matter."
"How many girls have you kissed?"
"120"
"Oh geez."

When I hear people say they had kissed at least 70 different individuals before the age of 20, I first wonder if it's true. Then, I wonder how it's done. They must have some sort of strategy that gets them from, "Greetings! Pleased to make your acquaintance" to "Let us go make out. The end of that couch appears to be available."

I like kissing. Overall, I've found it to be a pleasant enough experience. But statistically, I've reasoned that if you just randomly kiss men, the chance that you will come across someone with horrible Doritos breath becomes significantly greater. That might be the grossest thought ever. EVER. Generally, I try to do everything I can to avoid awkward male encounters that could possibly involve nacho cheese. Gag.

Just a thought.


2 comments: